Ok, seriously-I want feedback on this if anyone reads my blog!
I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I have seen it a lot lately. I watch couples interact and I would say that 6 times out of 10, the husband is not treating, talking to or about his wife in a way I want my daughters to be treated! I look at these smart, beautiful women being treated in a less than an acceptable way. I ask myself, am I being too harsh?, too judgemental ? because if Steve talked to me like that-giiirrrrl, he would get an earful and his life would be akin to hell for at least a month!!!!!!
But I know he wouldn't do it. We talk about this in my classes and I am always trying to understand it...why does a woman go with a man who talks/treats her badly? Did he always do so? Were the signs there and the women didn't see it? Did he turn unacceptable over night, once he "made the sale"? Why does a woman take it?
I guess I bring it up because my girls interact with boys from the ward that come from active families but I have watched their parents' relationships and think, "will the son pattern the father?", "can you teach your girls to look for the things without talking bad about certain couples?"
I know couples aren't perfect and I am sure people could and probably do watch my marriage and point out a lot of things that they would not accept but I asked Steve tonight, "since when is it ok to talk to your partner like that in front of other people????????" I mean, it isn't even like they are trying to hide it! And I just FEEL for the wives who try to play it down, make excuses for their husbands or explain why they are acting like jerks. Do the men not know how they sound?
I have thought when I see these things, I could quietly cough, "amen" like AMEN TO YOUR PRIESTHOOD, BROTHA!!!!!!!! so my girls could see that the way these men are acting is not quite right but then that seems like pointing out fault instead of teaching.
All I tell my girls is, "watch how the boys' parents treat each other and see how the boy treats his mother" I think I am going to add, "and his sisters" too.
Any ideas??????? Man, ANOTHER thing to worry about....this parenting stuff is hard!
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1 comment:
Thanks for your post. I was just talking to my going through puberty, overly anger, emotional and sometimes back talking son about this yesterday. That it is not acceptable to take your insecurities, frustrations or plain being selfish out on your family. I hope that this is just a stage and that my 12 year old will turn into a nice guy. It isn't acceptable behavior, for the husband or the wife, I think in some cases there is a learning curve, and that people don't recognize things until the hear or see it happening with another couple. I think it is easy to be slothful in a relationship, and then you start to treat others a little less than you did when you dated or were first married. I think these are some of the reasons that the Apostles have been so focused on our family relationships, like Elder Hollands talk "Tongue of Angels". I will work on my end with my sons. Keep up the good work with your girls.
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